What is depression? Symptoms of depression? A millennial mom’s story of depression|The mindful abundance

While there are multiple perfectly carved out definitions of the “D” word, let me share my raw and understanding of What is Depression(yes I said it, I spelled out the word) from my own experience and journey!

My Depression Episode

Until about 2 years back even I was naive enough to ignore that something like severe depression could happen to me . Well not because I had a perfect fairy tale life, trust me it was more like a wave that went more below the line than above it! but back then I had my parents to protect me, whether we were going through financial trouble, my accident or me fighting with a disease that doctors didn’t know how to treat, I was not entirely living on my own and I didn’t have to handle all my problems like an adult. Much has changed in the last few years.

From getting married to becoming mom, it has been a beautiful journey however every journey has its own share of people pinpointing what’s wrong with you, being nosy or mean!

Not that I’m complaining because I guess that’s how most human emotions and interactions are.

A situation arises when we are not able to pick ourselves up after each of those unpleasant conversations, unwanted comments, or uninterrupted judgments!

In this video, I gathered the courage to talk about my entire depression story and all my trigger points in the last 2 years. It’s very important to reflect and identify your trigger points.

The Depression Symptoms- The wave

There can be multiple reasons for not feeling yourself…and not feeling like oneself on a day to day basis is what I find depressing. Depression to me is the loss of hope and contentment! Depression to me is the series of sad thoughts that take over us, thoughts that keep you and me from sleeping at night, thoughts that make our minds their permanent place to party in the dark.

Depression is a state that we go into when we are lost among the crowd. When we feel that we are neither needed nor wanted.

If you are in a state where nothing seems to make sense talk it out, take professional help(honestly for me it was the best decision ever!)

Hang in there, take one step at a time and this too shall pass. Nothing in this world can be so daunting that we forget how to live a happy life. Trust me nothing is so important that we let ourselves get hurt in the process.

And honestly, everyone feels a little low now and then, it’s not just us. Have faith in the universe.

There are days when I don’t feel like getting out of bed, not cooking, not taking a bath, and just lazing around the whole day while fighting my demons and scolding myself for being a lazy bum and then there are days when I feel super productive and feel like overachieving.

Being depressed doesn’t mean that you will be in the same state of mind 24/7, there will be lighter moments when you would step out of your bed, your room, and feel the sunshine. There will be days when you would be better than yesterday! Count on those days, those moments.

Redefine Depression-For Yourself and Others!

Depression is not an illness that has no cure or is something to be ashamed of, depression is something that has a cure, if we can open our doors, get out out visit a doctor for fever, cold or a fracture we can and we should get up, gather ourselves and take professional help for mending our state of mind and heart. There is absolutely no need to be embarrassed about it.

At the same time, “D” is not as light as others say when they mean that, “Hey it’s okay, it’s a phase and it will pass !” or “you know what you need to go out and have a dinner with a friend and you will heal” No doubt these things will help the healing process but they are not a permanent solution.

You and I, we need to stop overthinking about What is “DEPRESSION” and treat it like something which can be cured, something we can talk about freely with an open mind without feeling the fear of being judged.

The Depression Help- My Therapist

The best decision that I have taken in a long time is to see a therapist and seek professional help. The day I felt I was beyond repair, the day I felt caged, I looked into my baby’s eyes and knew I could not go on like this. I had to do something about it. 

I still remember how nervous I was when I just randomly took an auto and reached the clinic. 

There were countless thoughts running in my mind, what will I even talk about? How do I start? Am I doing something wrong? I think I’m fine, maybe I should just go on a lunch date with my friends! But trust me had it not been my sessions I would not be writing this, I would not have found my voice, my issues, and above all myself.

Depression to me, more than anything else is the endless loop of thoughts in our minds that keep us from being happy and the fear of gathering the courage to fight the demons within us.

I have decided not to bottle up my feelings and wait for them to burst.

I have decided to talk about it, to a friend, confidant, husband, or maybe even a stranger because I deserve better because you deserve better and you will have it.

Let’s pledge to take one day at a time and be hopeful.

As I read it somewhere, Emotional Health isn’t about being happy all the time, our emotional health is defined by our ability to understand and be responsive to our experiences!

Some self-help books that I found extremely motivating during this phase and I re-read them on multiple occasions.

Self Compassion- https://amzn.to/2YL6V4F

The Happiness Trap- https://youtu.be/mVPMhZF27hc

Sending my love and support to you, you are brave and you are not alone, have faith in yourself, and don’t ever lose hope.

By the way, I love drawing and I have done some arts during my depression phase, I call it the “Depression Drawing” It indeed is therapy, art therapy! 

Find your own ways to relieve yourself from stress and pressure. It can be anything from cooking to drawing to cleaning 🙂

I wish you a hopeful and healthy day ahead.

Until next,

Khushii

This Post Has One Comment

  1. siddhartha Chaudhary

    so true and inspirational. Each one of has have felt something like this at some point in life… hats off to you for coming upfront on so called taboo subject in our society. this encourages people who are going through this phase…..

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